Sunday, May 27, 2012

Beautiful Mess

Yesterday was Day 20 of our Daniel Fast. This was the hardest day for me, I was feeling very ill and physically tired. My sweet husband who is so committed to this 40 day fast inspired me and reminded me that I sounded like the Israelites crying out to God when the Manna that was dropped from heaven wasn't good enough for them. This really put perspective on my fast, and today I am renewed at denying my flesh to be closer to my Daddy God.
I am learning so much about my selfish desires since we started this. I am truly a mess..............I yell at my kiddos,  nag my hubby, get impatient with Mia, want what I want, I get discontent and the list goes on. But in this mess God sees Beauty and the princess that I am. He sees my Beautiful Mess that so needs her Savior every day, hour, minute and second of my life. I Love knowing that he has it. He has it all and loves me even when I don't deserve it. His love amazes me, his grace astounds me. What an AWESOME PAPA GOD!!!!!!
Today I was also convicted to be still and listen. There is so much noise and chatter going on sometimes we miss God speaking to us. I don't want to miss it. I want to hear My Father Speak........I want to walk close to him like Jesus did. In precious communion with him everyday. Waking up and asking Father what do you want me to do.
I also have had a lot going on in this head of mine.................I feel like God wants me to help the orphan how that looks I am not sure............Is it start a non profit?.....................Is it adopt again (Yes this is a possibility. LOL).............Start an orphan ministry at our church. I would love to do all three, but trying to listen to God on the when to do this and making sure I am walking in obedience to what he has for me and our family. Adoption is such a blessing..............I type this as sweet pea sits right next to me smiling and kissing her mama. Melt my heart!!!!
 Oh, and she is doing so good. We go Friday to go over blood work and stuff with the International Dr., we got her blood work back but haven't talked to the doctor. A couple of things flagged, one on her Hemoglobin F. So if you think about us could you pray for everything to be just peachy!!!!!! Thanks.
God's blessings to you on this wonderful Sunday!!!! May you enjoy precious communion with your Daddy God. :)

2 comments:

Paige said...

I'll be praying for your dr appt. wow I have a feeling I would be such a baby on a 40 day fast!!! I think giving up my coffee would hurt the most and it's half caff:) hang in there, I'll also be praying for clear direction for your family!!

Johanna said...

I understand a lot of what you are writing about. PRaying for the clarity and wisdom that you crave, I believe the Lord will speak to your heart and you will know where he will lead. God bless!